How to get over someone

dry rose flower next to broken heart shaped cookie
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Breakups can be really hurtful and painful, to the point where you can feel stuck or  scared for life, falling into bad habits, or afraid to invest in new relationships, keeping you blocked from new opportunities.

First of all, how to recognise you are  NOT over someone?

  1. You constantly see signs that reminds you of them (maybe you hear their name, hear a song that you used to listen with them, see their favourite dessert and so on)
  2. The things that remind you of them trigger a painful and intense emotion inside you, like grief, sadness, even anger or frustration
  3. You see them in other people
  4. If you start to date other people you always compare them
  5. You stalk their social media frequently or ask about them in your common friend group
  6. You dream or daydream about them pretty often

Causes for not allowing yourself to move on

I always say the first step to overcome a problem is understanding the root cause. Once you become aware of that, a deep relief may happen inside of you, making you relaxed and accepting of healing, thus further action on your part not being necessary. That being said, let’s dig in:

Cause no 1: You still love them

There is a strong misconception around love, and that love is something romantic that you cannot control. Actually love is an energy that flows through you from God, or Source Energy or whatever you wish to call it, and you CHOOSE to direct that energy towards a specific person, because the qualities they posses makes it easier for you to do so. The presence of that person makes you more relaxed, and happy, thus making you more open to receive Love energy, and then redirect it.

Once you realise that Love is energy, you can continue to send that person love from a distance, if you chose to do so. You don’t have to stop loving them if it is over. The pain is actually more intense when you try to stop yourself from loving them, because what you are doing is actually blocking your energy supply from the Divine. Allow yourself to feel the love, no matter if you are with someone or single, thus making you more happy and more open to meet someone new.

Cause no. 2: You feel guilty

It may happen that the reason you separated was because something you did that upset your partner. Maybe you lied, cheated or disappointed them in some way, and every-time you think of them, this deep intense sensation of guilt keeps you bound to them.

In this type of scenario it is vital to consider forgiving yourself, rather than seeking forgiveness from you ex-partner.

It is not your responsibility to make someone forgive you. That’s their decision. If they chose to hold on to the burden of hate or whatever negative emotion they may feel for the rest of their life, that is on them. Your responsibility is to forgive yourself, so you can feel at peace. Sometimes the ex partner may totally have forgiven you but you still feel attached to guilt. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to get back together. Forgiveness mean the release of any negative emotion regarding the relationship, so you can move on with your life.

Cause no. 3 : You feel wounded

Now this is the other end of the stick, for Cause no.2, when you are the one who has been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, or so on.

Even though I understand that such situation can cause a lot of pain, I want you to take in consideration the idea that a person cannot hurt your soul. Most likely your pride and ego is hurt, because your soul is too busy being unconditionally happy. Your soul is out there dancing and smelling the flowers.

Once you reconnect with your soul , forgiveness is really easy. In fact you start to see the whole thing like a normal experience and you become eager to see what life has in store for you next. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to get back together, or that an apology must take place. It just means you release any negative emotion attached to the situation and you move on with your life.

Cause no. 4 : You’re disconnected from yourself

If your life is generally dull or boring, and you need attention from other people, to feel happy and excited and passionate, then the breakup will be extremely painful on you, as a wake up call to focus on your own happiness and inner joy.

You cannot depend on other people to make you happy, because then you will also depend on them to make you sad.

Maybe it’s time to find what sparks you in life , what is your purpose, how you can contribute to the world, how to be more present and enjoy the small things, how to be more grateful and loving, and figuring out what gives you passion.

If you already have a list of things or activities that bring you joy and happiness , by yourself, that includes at least 10 items, then you can skip this and move on to the next cause.

Cause no. 5 : There are energy cords between you

When you connect with someone either intelectual, emotional or sexual, energy cords are formed between you, so the information exchange can take place. Usually these cords are dismissed once the interaction is over, or even after a few hours or days later, but if the interaction was very deep and intense, or held for a very long time, the cords become so strong it can take years to be dismissed, and you must take action to clean your energy of them.

I recommend a guided meditation to do this. Just search on Youtube the term “energy cord meditation” and chose one you feel most pulled towards. I can’t recommend a specific one, because every person is different and what works for me, may not work for you.

Cause no 6: Karma from past lives

Karma is unfinished business and there are chances it was passed from previous lives you spend together. If for example in a previous life, you were the daughter and he/she was the father, and the father tried to control the daughter to the point where she left home and never spoke to her father again, then that unresolved situation has such an intense emotional charge that it remains stored in your energy body, and you take it with you in the next life. In the next life you may chose to come as lovers, so that the sexual attraction and infatuation keeps pulling you together so you can resolve your misunderstandings and forgive each other. In fact the more inexplicably you feel an intense and magnetic attraction towards someone, the more likely you have some important spiritual lessons to learn, and conflicts you need to close.

But if in the moment you meet one of the partners is not ready for the closure and spiritual lessons, then he or she may run away, or ghost, leaving this feeling of unfinished business and leave you with a deep need for conversation or closure.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to make the other partner co-operate. Most likely if they run away, they will encounter the things they ran away from in the next partners until they learn.

From your end , the thing you can do is, forgive the person and forgive yourself, accept the fact that you may never get closure and being ok with that, and most importantly try to understand the purpose of meeting this person and what lessons you had to learn from this interaction, so you won’t repeat the same cycle in the future. Be conscious of every emotion you experience, and if it’s negative and intense, try to identify what causes that, and how you can heal it.

Cause no. 7: You have to create a masterpiece

If you are an artist or any kind of project creator, then most likely your most profound and daring projects were inspired by intense negative emotions, that pushed you forwards like a rocket. 🚀

In our despair to get out of a dark place, we can get inspiration for transformation, or redirect our 100% focus towards a project to distract ourselves from emotions. In the long run, this project may have great impact in our lives, and it could never have been possible without a good kick in the ass or in the heart.

So every time you feel hurt from the heartbreak, use it as fuel in your creative activities. You never know the impact it can have in the world.

Cause no. 8: You have a spiritual mission together 

This one is less common but I will treat it anyway. Sometimes you agree to meet not to resolve a conflict or to learn a specific spiritual lesson, but because you have an important mission on this planet. This mission can be from starting a business together  to conceiving a child. But if you break up, it may mean that one or both of you was not ready for the mission and still has work to do on them on their own. Time apart may help with healing and preparation for the mission, and while being apart, even though you are happy and focused on your own personal goals, it may still be very hard to forget this person, because you have a inner knowing that you will meet again. Of course meeting again is not a guarantee since everyone has free will and can chose a different path in life, so it’s best to not wait for anyone and move on with your life, with no worries.Don’t stress about dating other people or moving to a different country. If it’s meant to be, it will be, at the right time.

OK. What now?

Once you identified the causes for not moving on, from time to time, go back and check if you moved on or not. If you feel you haven’t moved on yet, it is very important to avoid dating other people. It will only cause confusion, miss understandings and even suffering on both ends. It is only fair to declare yourself in truth single, once you got rid of past baggage, so you won’t project all your frustration and problems on others, or to keep yourself from giving in to a new person , cause you still hope to reconcile with your ex. Just give yourself more time, patience and compassion, and try to enjoy this period of rediscovering yourself and knowing yourself better.

Lots of love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

How to find God

Whenever I write something on a controversial topic it usually works like this: I gather information from multiple sources through a period of time, (usually a couple of months), through books, documentaries, youtube videos, meditations and dreams. I don’t have a specific intention to do this, it just flows.  And then it happens:

I wake up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning with my mind racing, and receiving information about a new article that I am supposed to write, and all the informations gathered somehow clicks, and the puzzle is finished.  Today it was about God. After all the information arranged in my head, about what I have to write, I looked at the time and it showed 05:50. Without fault, every time this happens, the clock shows a repetitive number, confirming me the Universe supports me. It may be 4:44 or 02:20 or whatever. Usually I get very excited, but this morning I was like, OK, OK, got it. Now let me sleep.

Let’s dive into how to find God.

One day, I was feeling lonely, and wondered if God feels lonely. I wondered if He created us, not to feel so lonely.

The answer is quite the opposite. God felt perfectly fine just being on its own. The moment it started expanding, and dividing, thus separating oneself, that’s how loneliness emerged. The bigger the separation is from the source, the more powerful the feeling of loneliness is.

Screenshot 2020-04-17 at 20.43.22(Side note: What I find kind of funny right now, is how youtube starting to play this song in this very moment:

It is said that OM is primordial sound) But anyway…

Why God had to separate itself? Well for knowledge, self discovery and expansion. You can see yourself better when you have a mirror of yourself, or several mirrors. Also you learn a lot more about something when you look at it from different perspectives, and angles.

There is an ancient Indian story for this , where God is pictured as an elephant, and described by some blind men , which symbolise all the religions of the world. The men assert the elephant either like a pot (the blind man who felt the elephant’s head), a winnowing basket (ear), a plowshare (tusk), a plow (trunk), a granary (body), a pillar (foot), a mortar (back), a pestle (tail) or a brush (tip of the tail).

So everyone felt something different when touching the elephant (God), but it’s the same elephant.

We all are parts of God, separated from Himself, gathering information about parts of Him. By all, I mean, all humans, aliens, animals, plants, rocks, planets, stars, suns, ALL of IT! Yes God wants to know how it feels to be a rock, or a microbe, or a drop of water.

All the information gathered is stored in a place called the Akashic Records. This is like a huge library, with information gathered from all the beings ever lived in every dimension and plane and body. Google has ton of information on the Akashic Records so I’m not going there.

An other metaphor for God would be a tree, where we all are its leaves. We somehow are separated and individual, as each leaf, but are part of the same tree, and in essence we are the tree. All the sunlight we gather (information, experience, knowledge), we share between us, and use to feed the tree. We are an organism, and we can communicate and share wisdom between us.

So if for example, you as an individual learn something, and in your egotistical mind believe you are keeping it to yourself, guess again!  actually, everything goes into the Akashic Records and stored there. And most of the information is accessible, either conscious throw meditation, or unconscious during sleeping. This explains how the exact same ideas or things are invented by people worlds apart with no contact to one another. So if you find out something wonderful, better not keep it to yourself out of greed. Let it free so we can expand faster.

How God divides itself? Picture a cell or bacteria dividing. In the process, the separated parts forget their Source, and who they really are, which is God. Some religions depicts this as the fall of the angels (Lucifer) and so on. But eventually we all return back to Source, our Home, and start to remember and reconnect.

How God feels like?

This will also be unexpected to you, because a lot of the times He is pictured as some kind of bright light, or happiness and bliss. Some angelic beings are like that, yes, but not God.

Actually God is complete darkness, and silence. It’s a dark void. 

That is why I cannot stress enough by the importance of meditation and quitting the mind. The ancient Egyptians build those dark chambers to meditate in, with no sound and light, so they can connect with God.

Why would you want to connect with a dark void? How can that bring you any good?

Well from my own experience, connecting to God feels like connecting to a battery. You recharge yourself. It’s so quiet, and still, that you feel at peace and at flow. You can finally relax.

And from that point of nothingness, that point of stillness, the desire and power of creating WORLDS emerges. Creation is most powerful from nothing. Because when there is nothing, you can create anything. The possibilities are endless, and are not influenced by anything. You create something complete new. It’s a blank canvas. Or better said, it’s a black canvas, for you to paint on. The Bible describes the power of creation, when God said let there be Light, and there was Light. In that void, it’s that simple. It’s really fun.

How to see God?

Simple. Look in the mirror. Specifically look into your eyes. It is said that the eyes are portals to the soul. Well yes, but more than that, they are portals to God.

Screenshot 2020-04-17 at 21.23.44

I’m going to end this article by actually feeling very grateful for this current lockdown. At night it gets so silent and dark, that I can feel God perfectly and align with Him.

I hope you find this guide helpful on how to hear God, understand Him, see Him and connect with Him.

P.S. I’m calling God, a He, Him, because it’s easier this way, in the explanation,  and it shows respect, for Him and all of us that are Him.  But honestly, it makes no sense to give a gender to a dark void.

Lots of love!

 

 

What is like being an empath

top view photo of ocean waves
Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

Firstly, what is an empath?

An empath is someone that can sense and feel other people’s emotions, so much that sometimes it’s hard to distinguish their own emotions from others. Or at least that’s how I see it. Here is what the dictionary has to say about it:

empath
/ˈɛmpaθ/
noun
  1. (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.

Is it a gift or a curse?

It’s kind of both. Being an empath is a curse, until you become aware you are one. That means you may experience a very intense childhood, or life in general, picking up emotions from family members, friends, lovers, teachers, cartoons and movies, books, and even a 5 second TV commercial, and becoming overwhelmed, crying a lot, laughing a lot, being called oversensitive, overreactive or depressive. The good part is when you get to feel affection, bliss, optimism, joy and all the other good stuff as intense as the rest.

As an empath, you go through a couple of stages:

Stage 1: becoming avoidant or fearful

At first you will do this unconsciously as a coping mechanism, before becoming aware of your “power”.Once you sense how much other people’s energy affect you, you can get scared and you start avoiding them, you start avoiding large crowds, and every time you are forced to encounter them, you feel very uncomfortable.

The worst part is when you have to interact with someone with intense dark energy daily, like when you work in the same office. I remember how some people’s energies were so strong, that I felt anxiety every time they walked in the room, without looking who it was. I knew who it was without looking. When they were in vacation, I felt so peaceful. If the room was a small one, the energy would change so drastically when they walked in, that my ears would start ringing.

Stage 2: not giving a fuck

At some point you get tired of running and you embody your personal power. You are aware you feel all of these emotions, but you are not afraid of them anymore. You allow yourself to feel them if they are too strong, or just observe them and notice. There were days when I would walk through the subway and feel around me, anxiety, sadness, happiness, and being OK, OK, OK, I can see you, but I chose to be me today. But there are also days when I just can’t handle it. For example if there is a large protest and everybody is angry and hateful, it crashes me. I need a day or two to recover. When the virus starting spreading more and more, the fear was so powerful around me, that I had to lock myself down in the house, cry, and pray. I had a bit of fear in me as well, which I can handle easily. But it’s too much to feel the fear of an entire country.

Stage 3: transmutation

Once you figure out how to not let other’s people energy affect you, now you can start to heal it. So you gradually learn how to move it, send it, receive it, express it, recycle it, transform it. My favourite way of transforming energy /emotion is through art, like dancing and painting.

At first you can feel only the energies near you, like when you are having a face to face conversation with someone. The more you become conscious of your own thoughts and feelings, you can start to feel someone’s energy at a distance. Currently I can feel when someone is thinking of me with intensity, and also can feel what kind of energy is she/he sending me: if it’s loving, angry, hateful or lustful. For me it is very obvious when this happens. Let’s say I’m cooking, minding my own business, and feeling peaceful, and my energy is constant. If all of sudden some person pops in my head, and my energy shifts completely, then I start t question myself: is this me or someone else?

Can I read minds?

No. I cannot read thoughts, but I can feel emotions and I can tell if someone has good or bad intentions. It is also very easy to recognise deceit. Sometimes the lie can be minor, but I don’t know what it is about. I just know a secret exists so sometimes it’s hard not to think of the worst scenarios.

The deceit doesn’t bother me that much, I mean lots of people have secrets, unless, someone tries to push their lie on me or others, and do their best to convince of their lie, with showing  “proof”.  From that point I have two choices:

run/ignore or stay.

1.When do I run/ ignore: I usually do this if I sense there is a very large block inside that person that won’t allow healing or help, at that specific moment ( either in this week, month, year or lifetime). That block usually is a lesson that person may have to learn the hard way or has a specific mission or contract and you cannot interfere. So even if I see their true emotions and intentions towards me or others, and decide to “attack” them with love, compassion and understanding…it will have no affect on them. There is no progress or change. I do it anyway, at first. But even tho my supply of unconditional love can be infinite, once I connect to Divine Source Energy (God), it must be used with wisdom.  Love still remains the most powerful energy in the Universe, but it’s not wise to force something when it’s not the time. For a lot of people, love is extremely overwhelming. It’s like planting a seed, and expecting it to make fruit the next day. You can watch it grow with patience and love it along the way, and it will grow a bit faster, but still on it’s own time.

2. When do I stay: I usually stay or respond, when I feel that person is kind of ready for a shift, either small or large, and it is open to at least learn about love, compassion and understanding. Every time they lie, deceive, say hurtful and angry words, I process them, usually the next days or period, I forgive, and I send them unconditional love. This helps me test my patience, forgiveness abilities, and my connection to Divine Source. I also practice focusing on their positive aspects, because this is how the healing occurs. When you focus on something it becomes reality. So I find it a win-win. They become a better person and I become a better person. As time passes by, there is no need for me to leave. Usually they leave, and I let them.

Unfortunately most people are not even aware of their true intentions. This happens when they are dedicated to serving the self, and they perceive people, animals and plants, as objects or self extensions to serve their own personal needs or use them for personal recognition or gain. If you want to test your good intentions, to see if they are actually pure, ask yourself if you would still do them in secret, or if you would still do them towards a person you don’t like, or if would still do them even if you gain absolutely nothing out of it, or all of these at once.

Is being an empath lonely?

Hell yeah! It can get very lonely. But I’m lucky to have discovered meditation, and connecting to Divine Source Energy (God) and other beautiful beings, animals, trees, the sun, the sky the flowers. Unfortunately so far, I never felt true unconditional love from an other human on this planet, directed and focused towards me. Maybe you know me, and feel  offended right now, but that’s just how I feel. You may feel admiration towards me, for my accomplishments or talents (I felt that, so thank you), you may feel romantic or attracted towards me, wanting to hold me and kiss me and hug me(I felt that, so thank you) you may feel grateful towards me, for something I helped you in the past or I offered you (also felt that, so thank you) , but if I would curse YOU and disrespect you and lie to you,  and cheating and stealing behind YOUR back, taking advantage of you, or simply not care what are you doing at all, would you send me unconditional love? I let you answer that to yourself. This is nothing to be sad about. That’s just the dominant energy on Earth right now. Unconditional love is just starting to grow, more and more. I’m very optimistic. I actually did felt unconditional love from certain “people”, or let’s say souls incarnated in bodies on this plane, but it was in the spirit realm, or dream world.

I know it’s not easy sending unconditional love every time, to every one. I can’t do it all the time. I’m still human myself, and learning. Also,  as I said, sometimes, it is with no use, and sometimes, it is just too hard. And that’s ok.

Are you born an empath ? Can everyone become one?

Yes and yes. If you want to become an empath, you need to become self aware of your thoughts. To dim their noise down and quiet the mind through meditation, and discover God. To allow yourself to feel emotions, first your own, and then to sense the ones in others, by fully opening your heart. Unfortunately you cannot feel unconditional love, and all the other good stuff, without feeling it all! Once you open that channel, it goes deep. You will feel everything, anger, sadness, disappointment, hate, disgust. It can be extremely painful. But that’s the beauty of life. You come here to live it, to feeeeel it, to experience it, and not to be a walking robot.

Much love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

How can a virus be your greatest teacher

art carving close up crown
Photo by Mike on Pexels.com

As I am writing this, the world is facing a battle with a virus, that is spreading very fast, causing a lot of people to react in certain ways, based on their worst fears.

We should look at this virus from a higher perspective, and see that actually it’s not our enemy. I mean, it’s not called corona (crown) for nothing. 👑 This virus is actually the perfect pretext for your inner growth. This virus is your worst and best teacher. “Worst” because you will learn some things the hard way, because you’ve delayed learning them the good way, “best” because you will learn some awesome lessons, that will make you very strong. You will be a king, or a queen after this.

This virus will expose your greatest fears, or how I like to call them : inner demons, or shadows, that you carefully pushed down for all this years, and ignored completely.

So let’s discuss each type of fear , in the order that I observed to be the most common to less common, although it can be any order.

  1. Fear of death

Fear of death is understandable, with all the drama created around it, especially in mass media and movies.  I once read a lovely quote by a Romanian author , Marin Preda, that said : ” Death is something natural, but we make it seem horrible.”

The greater your fear of death is, the bigger your attachment is to the material world and your role in society, because actually, death is a complete destruction of the ego, while the soul will continue to live.

Destruction of the ego means, the destruction of your job title (CEO, manager, entrepreneur, engineer, banker etc), your role in the family title (husband, mother, father, sister , son, etc) , your talent title (writer, composer, dancer, painter etc), your possessor of things and events title ( car owner, house owner, illness fighter, volunteer, charity planner etc).

So to get over the fear of death, you must detach yourself from all the roles you have given yourself, and analyse what is left. I actually had to meditate on this for a week or so, way back before the virus, asking myself, who am I? if all my roles disappear what is left? Well…I found out that what is left is your values, your energy, your personality. That’s something that never dies. What you put out there in terms of energy, it circulates in the Universe forever, in the exact form, or transformed and recycled for the better. Once you realise this and make peace with it, you couldn’t care less if you die today or in 50 years. It is a really freeing experience.

2. Fear of lack

Hello hoarder! yes you, I’m looking at you 🙂

Who thought you there is never enough? Why you believed that?

I know, I know, when you were little you were poor and hungry, and there are starving people around the world. So if that was your reality back then when you didn’t have a choice, and if that is the reality for some people you don’t even know personally, then that must be your current reality? Why? Have you took some time for the past years to express just for a few seconds a bit of gratitude?

Gratitude for the lovely meal you just ate, gratitude for the money in the bank you just received. Let me tell you, there is no better weapon agains fear of lack than gratitude.

So please, go ahead, make a list with all the awesome things you’ve experience and continue to experience, and stop focusing on what is not serving you at all. Also, it may be a good idea a bit of house cleaning, organising and donating all of the stuff you haven’t used in a long time. I mean, come on, do you really need all that stuff? Be honest.

Alsooo….giving creates more space for receiving. Let that energy flow.

3. Fear of loneliness

The fear of loneliness is actually related to fear number 1, fear of death, more specifically the death of your social role in society. The more you fear loneliness, the more you need other people for approval, and the need to be noticed by others. Also, the fear of loneliness is a strong indication of your disconnection to Source Energy, or God, or Love or however you want to call it, energy that actually is deep rooted inside of you, but also can be found in nature.

So, maybe it’s time to go for a walk in the park, alone, just to enjoy it, and to notice all the birds, and the bees, and the flowers, and the cats, and the sun, and the sky. Believe me, after an hour in the park, fully present in the moment, you’ll never feel lonely again. Or maybe you will, but you’ll get over it quickly. You can reconnect with yourself and Source Energy also through meditation, sitting quietly in your room for 10 minutes, realising any thoughts. Try it out.

4. Fear for losing your job

Are you worried the economy is going to collapse and lose your job? Or maybe you lost it already.

This fear is again related to number 1, fear of death, more specifically the death of your job title in society. You were used for all these years to be called an engineer, or a sales person, or a chef, and you’ve invested so many years or months in learning that.

Now what?

Well actually it’s not the end of the world. The only thing you need to do is detach yourself from the title you’ve been holding on for so long and be open to other opportunities.

Can you see yourself working in a supermarket? or as a garbage man? why not? what’s wrong with that? you may love doing that, and you may discover you have some skills you never knew about.

4. Fear of getting sick

The fear of getting sick is a strong indicator that you have been neglecting your health lately. Have you nourished your body enough with clean foods and water? What are you addicted to? Alcohol? Cigars? Drugs? Fast food? Sugar? Sitting on the couch like a potato for hours and hours?

Maybe it’s time to change your diet and exercise more. Now it’s a good opportunity to cook your own food.

We are attacked by viruses, bacteria and foreign compounds daily. It’s your daily responsibility to strengthen your immune system, by avoiding sugar and alcohol as much as possible, which creates a good environment for dangerous bacteria to grow, and eat foods rich in minerals and vitamins. It’s your daily responsibility to breath fully, fresh air, to strengthen your lungs.

Also, beware of excess use of cleaning products and antibiotics. These will kill also the bacteria that is good for your body.

Side note: don’t make supplies on canned goods or frozen food. The canned goods are not very healthy and frozen foods are doomed if there is an electricity loss.  I had one for a few hours. It can happen.  A better option would be seeds ( sun flower, chia) , dried legumes (lentils, beans, peas) and dried fruit. They are reach in minerals and vitamins and last for long time.

5. Fear surrounding loved ones

For loved ones there is in discussion two types of situations.

  1. The fear of losing a loved one. Now don’t get me wrong. it’s perfectly normal to mourn after somebody you love and it’s not something pleasant, but if the fear of losing someone is so big that it keeps you awake at night, while they are still next to you , then it is a big problem,, and it is a strong indication of your attachment to others.

It is time to evaluate from where this strong attachment comes from, and to regain your own personal power that you seem to offer to others. Why do you put your heart and emotions in the hands of others? Why do you think you won’t make it on your own? or that there will not be other love like that waiting for you?

Maybe it’s time to meditate on how lovable you actually are, and how deserving you are of love.

2. The fear of being stuck with someone. Do you have annoying family members or partners and now you are stuck with them at home? Well this is a strong indication that all this years you have been avoiding the truth and you have been avoiding facing your dark aspects. The people that most annoy you, and from whom you desperately run away from are your greatest teachers. They are here to show you, that maybe you deserve better and it’s time to move on, or maybe they are acting as a mirror to your deepest wounds that need healing. Don’t get caught up on pointless arguments and fight, These people already know your weaknesses and know exactly what buttons to push. Breathe and observe. Notice. Don’t run. Stay there and listen…and notice. You will have some great insights and epiphanies. And then you will be free, for real.

6. Fear of many other things

Ok, this list is endless but I hope you get the point. it’s time to stop viewing every “bad” event like an attack against you, but more of an opportunity to grow and be a better person.

No one wants you to suffer. Believe me. All the suffering comes from your own perception on things.

Lots of love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cause of Pain and How to Avoid It

What is pain?

Pain is the effect of a powerful desire blocked by a contradictory thought/belief regarding that desire.

The full process of pain birth is the following:

Screenshot 2020-02-28 at 15.47.10

Example: Someone offers you a new job offer (external factors), and this triggers inside you the desire to change jobs, but also it triggers your personal thought patterns/belief regarding new jobs. 

If your thoughts match your desire (example: “new jobs are refreshing”, “new jobs can mean meeting beautiful new people”, “a new job is good for my mental health”) , then you will experience positive emotion-> optimism, enthusiasm, which will cause an overall bliss-> you will create new positive external factors, like new job opportunities or offers.

If your thoughts don’t match your desire (example: “new jobs are risky”, “new jobs means being hard to socialise”, “new job will cause me anxiety”), then you will experience negative emotion-> fear, anxiety, pessimism, which will cause pain-> you will create negative external factors like a disease, “bad luck”, delays and blockages, lack of new opportunities.

Where pain is manifested?

Inside our bodies, pain manifests at first in the energetic form, felt later on through our emotions, and if ignored, it will manifest in the physical form through illnesses.

The area of your body in which you experience pain is not a coincidence.

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The energetic body is divided in 7 main areas, ruled by an energetic field or energetic vortex, called chakra. The nature of your thoughts can determine an energetic blockage in a specific chakra, causing emotional and physical pain in that specific area.

The Root Chakra

 

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If you experience pain in the: coccyx, anus, large intestine, adrenal glands,  back, legs, feet or bones, then your root chakra is affected.

The root chakra is the first chakra, in red colour, and it is associated with the following functions or behavioural characteristics:

  • Security, safety
  • Survival
  • Basic needs (food, sleep, shelter, self-preservation, etc.)
  • Physicality, physical identity and aspects of self
  • Grounding
  • Support and foundation for living our lives

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you lose some money (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to make more money fast. If your next thought pattern will be of lack , for example, a deep rooted belief from childhood, that money doesn’t grow on trees, and that it’s very hard to gain money overnight, then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (fear, anxiety), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

The Sacral Chakra

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If you experience pain in the :  sexual organs, Ovaries /Testicles, bladder, bowel or lower intestine, then your sacral chakra is affected.

The sacral chakra, is the second chakra, in orange colour, and it is associated with the following psychological and behavioural functions:

  • Emotions, feelings
  • Relationships, relating
  • Expression of sexuality, sensual pleasure
  • Feeling the outer and inner worlds
  • Creativity
  • Fantasies

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you meet a new person (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to be with that person. If your next thought pattern will be of self sabotage, like “pleasure is wrong or sinful or dangerous”, inflicted upon you by your parents, religion or society rules,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (shame, guilt ), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

The Solar Plexus Chakra

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If you experience pain in the : stomach, gall bladder, spleen, liver, etc. – as well as the skin as a system, the muscular system as a system, and the face in general, then your solar plexus chakra is affected.

The Solar Plexus chakra, is the third chakra, in yellow colour, and it is associated with the following psychological and behavioural functions:

  • Expression of will
  • Intellectual abilities
  • The “accounting mind” that categorizes everything, assesses the pluses and minuses in life
  • Personal power
  • Ability to establish ideas and plans into reality
  • At higher levels, it conveys wisdom

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you see an inspiring idea or project (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to create your own project. If your next thought pattern will be of self sabotage, like “I’m too stupid to create this”, or “I don’t have what it takes” , inflicted upon you by your parents, society rules or school, teachers,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (low self esteem, pessimism, guilt), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

The Heart Chakra

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If you experience pain in the : Circulatory System and Thymus Gland, more specifically the heart, lungs, blood and circulation, then your heart chakra is affected.

The Heart chakra is associated with the following psychological and behavioural characteristics:

  • Capacity to love
  • Integration, bridge between earthly and spiritual aspirations
  • Transcending personal identity and limitations of the ego
  • Experience of unconditional love and connection with all
  • Heart-centered discernment
  • Appreciation of beauty in all things
  • Experiencing deep and meaningful relationships

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you fall in love with a person (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to continue to love that person. If your next thought pattern will be to close your heart, like “Love is risky”, or “That person doesn’t deserve my love” , inflicted upon you by your parents, society rules or friends,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (hate, frustration), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident. (The typical heart ache  )

The Throat Chakra

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If you experience pain in the :  mouth, jaws, tongue, pharynx, palate, shoulders or neck., then your throat chakra is affected.

The Throat chakra is associated with the following psychological and behavioural characteristics:

  • Expression, in particular ability to express your truth, to speak out
  • Communication, whether it’s verbal or non-verbal, external or internal
  • Connection with the etheric realm, the more subtle realms of spirit and intuitive abilities
  • Propensity to create, projecting ideas and blueprints into reality
  • Realising your vocation, purpose
  • Good sense of timing

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you meet a person that you admire a lot (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to express your truth to that person. If your next thought pattern will be of self sabotage, like “They will laugh at me”, or “They will reject what I have to say” , inflicted upon you by your parents, society rules or friends,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (fear, anxiety), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

The third eye chakra

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If you experience pain in the :  face, nose, sinuses, ears, eyes, brain, function of the pituitary gland, cerebellum, central nervous system, or the centre of the forehead., then your third eye chakra is affected.

The third eye chakra is associated with the following psychological and behavioural characteristics:

  • Vision
  • Intuition
  • Perception of subtle dimensions and movements of energy
  • Psychic abilities related to clairvoyance and clairaudience especially
  • Access to mystical states, illumination
  • Connection to wisdom, insight
  • Motivates inspiration and creativity

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you have a gut feeling regarding a person, without proof (external factor), which will cause a strong a desire to avoid that person. If your next thought pattern will be of doubt, like “I must be exaggerating”, or “I don’t have logic reasons to believe this” , inflicted upon you by your parents, society rules or religion,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (doubt, fear, anxiety), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

The Crown Chakra

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If you experience pain in the :  top of the spinal cord, brain stem, pain centre and nerves, then your crown chakra is affected.

The crown chakra is associated with the following psychological and behavioural characteristics:

  • Consciousness
  • Awareness of higher consciousness, wisdom, of what is sacred
  • Connection with the formless, the limitless
  • Realisation, liberation from limiting patterns
  • Communion with higher states of consciousness, with
  • Ecstasy, bliss
  • Presence

Example of pain birth in this area: 

Let’s say you experience a death of a loved one or a close friend, and this will trigger a desire to connect with God or the spirit world. If your next thought pattern will be of doubt or denial of any higher power, like “people who believe in life after death are weak or stupid”, or” God is just a made up thing for weak people”, inflicted upon you by your parents, society rules or religion,  then the miss match between your desire and thoughts, will cause negative emotion (fear, anxiety), and later on if ignored, will cause pain in any of the body parts mentioned above -gradually, instantly out of nowhere or through an accident.

How to avoid emotional pain

To avoid the emotional pain, you will have to make sure your desires match your thoughts.

Some people ,that are stuck for years in negative and limiting thought patterns, prefer to limit and change their desires, to match their thoughts, so they can avoid the pain. But this will stop you from evolving, from expanding your mind and your spirit. Your desires should be daring and complex, as you are worthy of good things in life.

So the best way to avoid pain in an expansive matter , is by altering and changing your thought patterns.

This is a lot harder than it sounds, since a lot of your thought patterns are hard written within you since childhood.

So the best way of dealing with strong thoughts, is by eliminating them all together. How? Simple-> Meditation.

Believe it or not 10 minutes per day should be enough. Especially when you feel overwhelmed with thoughts. Now I won’t show you also how to meditate. There are a lot of ways to do that : by spending time in nature, through music, with guided meditations, breathing exercises, yoga, dancing  etc.  Just search info on the internet and choose something that fits you best.

How to avoid physical pain

So let’s say you’re not willing to meditate or change your thoughts/ beliefs, or maybe you have tried and nothing worked, and now you’re stuck in this cycle of emotional pain, and you want to avoid the next step of physical pain.

Well in that case, I actually have something to recommend you. It’s called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), and their effect can be pretty powerful.

Just search online more on this topic. My personal favourite on this area are the videos from Brad Yates on Youtube. I love his videos. They worked for me almost instantly. Here is an example:

The physical pain is manifested! What now?

So you didn’t know that you can avoid pain, and now you are stuck with it, in a form of a disease.

Well from this point you can seek the help of healer. A modern medicine healer ( a specialised doctor) or an alternative doctor, depending on what feels best for you.

The cures they provide will sooth the effects of the pain, but chances are they will not eliminate the cause. So after treating your pain, it’s essential you check in with your desires, thoughts, and emotions, to make sure the pain and disease will not return.

I know a lot of people are tempted to try spiritual healing methods, once the pain is manifested in physical form. That can work if you have experience with this, or if the pain is not very dangerous or uncommon,  but unfortunately most of the times, physical pain may call for physical cures : medicine, special diet, special exercises, medical interventions or even operations.

I hope you found this guide helpful.

Lots of love to you all!

 

The contrast of falling in love

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Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

 What is falling in love?

The feeling of falling in love or infatuation is actually the feeling of focusing on the positive aspects of someone.

Most of the times, this happens at the beginning of the relationship, when you barely know the person, so it’s easy to spot only the positive aspects of that person, whether they are real or imagined.

While you focus on positive aspects, you actually shift your vibration, or energetic field, to a positive state. You can only observe positive aspects from a positive vibration, from a place of well being, from a place of positive emotions.

In other words, you use another person, as an excuse to connect yourself to Source Energy, or Love, or God or how ever you want to call it.

An other thing that causes these good feelings, is the fact that the positive aspects you see in the other, are actually your positive aspects too, that you haven’t acknowledged about yourself, and it feels divine to rediscover them in an other.

This is actually a big lesson to learn in the journey of loving ourselves. All the things we admire in others are actually within us. Otherwise, we have never have noticed them! You cannot notice something that it isn’t already in yourself. The reason you don’t see it in yourself, is because it has been stagnant or hidden for many years, because of society rules or external factors that made you focus elsewhere,  but you certainly had them while you were a child.  The more positive aspects you have in common with someone, the more attracted you will feel towards them, and the more delicious the experience of spending time with them will be. More on this topic here.

The False Falling in Love

The False falling in love , is when you encounter someone with whom you are a perfect match on many levels, with whom you have a lot in common, but unfortunately not in the good areas.

This is the person who hates the same things as you, who complains about the same life problems as you, who will get angry with you, who will laugh while making fun of certain people, who will get drunk with you, and smoke with you, who will cover for you while you do a bad deed.

You obviously will feel very attracted to this person, because of the multitude of things you share, but this person will give you a very hard time in the long run, and its purpose is to be a teacher to you, a though teacher, so you can acknowledge all the toxic behaviours you hold or that are strongly active within you, and decide to clear them out of your life. Once you clear out those behaviours out, this person will eventually disappear from your life. If you run away from this person without clearing the behaviours first, you will encounter a similar person in the future, until you learn your lesson.

When falling in love becomes bitter sweet

Falling in love can become bitter sweet out of 4 reasons:

 1 : Fear of abandonment

The fear of abandonments is deep rooted in childhood experiences. As a child there might of been many moments when you felt abandoned. Maybe when you first went to kindergarden, maybe your parents worked a lot and left you alone a lot of hours, maybe your parents traveled a lot, maybe you grew up in a foster home. No matter the reasons, you developed this strong fear of being left by a loved one. As a child this fear was justified since you were depending on parents for survival, and let’s face it, if a parent abandons a baby, without offering it shelter and food , the baby could die. You must acknowledge that now as an adult you can perfectly depend on yourself, and even if a person you care for deeply leaves you, you will not die! Sure, you will be upset for a while, and maybe cry a little, or a lot, but you will not die! Because of this fear of abandonment, many people who fall in love, run away, simply to avoid the potential feeling of being left by a loved one. They prefer to be the first to do it, because it’s too painful for them to be the one that are being left. Or they will sabotage the relationship at the beginning of its development, especially when all things seem to be going perfect.

2: Codependency

Codependency occurs when a person lacks the ability to connect directly to Source Energy, or Love, or God or whatever you want to call it, and uses other people to do that.

Codependent people are usually very disconnected from selves, indulging in all types of distractions: partying, drinking, traveling, over eatings, video games, etc.  They get bored very easily, and need constant entertaining from outside sources.

When they fall in love, and discover all these positive aspects in someone, they connect to Source Energy indirectly, and get addicted to the person that can offer them that feeling, since they do not know how to provide that feeling on their own.

These people can also be people pleasers,  players (who date multiple people at a time), or suffer from some type of addiction, since once the person they admire leaves, they search immediately for a different supply. They are dependent on other people or substances to feel happy and to feel “love”.

The solution for this is reconnecting to self. To spend more time alone, in nature, without distractions, to meditate, to create some art, to dance, to sing, so you can establish the connection to Source Energy, or God, or Love or how ever you want to call it, directly, without other people.

3: Lack of Self Worth

Low self esteem may be developed in childhood , when we encounter parents or teachers that can’t be pleased. People who are not happy in their own lives, cannot be pleased no matter how much we try. You can go to these people and show them a Nobel Prize, and they still can find something to complain about : “Oh ..so you won an award? Big deal, Tommy won 2 of them”. As a child you translate this as not being enough, and not being worthy, and always try to be better and better to impress some people that can never be impressed! Usually these children are the nerds or top achievers of the class, and easily become workaholics as adults. When they grow up and fall in love, they will never feel worthy enough for that person, and they will try to delay as much as possible to be with that person. There will always be something they want to achieve first before being with the person they love, not realizing that, number 1, they are enough as they are, number 2, the positive aspects they admire in loved ones are also in them, and number 3, you can always achieve more as a team.  If your romantic interest is someone like this, it can be very frustrating, because on one hand they will try to keep you close and hold on to you, but at the same time they will always need more time from you and delay as much as possible fully dedicating themselves to you, since there is always a goal they want to reach to feel enough.

4: Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection stems in caring too much of what other people think of us. This is rooted in our DNA, from times when we depended on others for survival, when basically we had to be part of a tribe to have shelter and food and protection. In our modern days that’s not the case anymore. In fact more people discover the beneficial and empowering aspects of being alone, and the emotional freedom of not caring what others think of us. When we fall in love with someone that has several traits that can threaten the approval of our family or friends, we may freeze and not follow our heart.  This is also related to number 2 : Codependency. We must find ways to be happy on our own without family and friends, so we can be free on making the choices that makes us happy and are in alignment with who we really are.

When the love fades out

The moment the spark fades away, is the moment you notice a negative aspect of the person you love, and you decide to focus on it. The focus on that negative aspect will make you feel very uncomfortable, for two reasons. First of all, if you noticed it, it means it already existed in you, in stagnant or activated form. If it was stagnant, now it gets activated. If it was already activated, now it gets amplified.  The good news for this, is now you get the chance to acknowledge it and clear it out. Once you clear it, the aspect you perceived negative before, won’t have such an impact on you. It will become neutral and then disappear from your perception. The second reason it makes you feel uncomfortable is because it acts as a reminder that you are disconnected from Source Energy, from Love, from God or whatever you want to call it. You can only notice a negative aspect from a negative place of being. That’s why it is very common our love for someone fades away when we are unhappy in our personal lives: maybe a sickness, stress from work or other issues that keep us in a low state of being. The easiest solution for this, is to re-focus on the positive aspects and get back in that high place.

I hope this article can bring some light into what happens within us when we fall in love, how we can maintain the feeling or rekindle it, and why we run away from it, even if it seems counterintuitive.

Lots of love and healing to you all!

 

 

 

Stop working so hard! It’s a trap!

As any person striving for achieving goals I came across in Youtube videos, media, books, TV shows or even movies, this idea that you need to work HARD to be successful. You need to hustle. You need to step out of your comfort zone. You need planners and TODO lists. You need to sweat.  You need to wake up at 5 a.m. in the morning and push hard.

Please don’t. It’s a trap! a trap perfectly set up by your mind, and your beliefs…and possible your mother.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

The secret to achieving all of your goals is to relax, be happy, and take action ONLY when you feel inspired to do so. That’s it. 

Now you will ask, if it’s that simple, where are all those people who barely do anything and have it all? well…there are everywhere around you, but you usually dismiss them as being lucky or happy go lucky. You know, the ones you kinda hate, cause they seem to receive everything so easily, without barely lifting a finger?

Maybe it brings you more satisfaction to say , well I did all of this, with SO MUCH HARD WORK! I’m not lucky, I go and jump and pull and sweat and hustle and muscle!

Yes, it might bring some satisfaction to say that. But this satisfaction is temporary. You only feel good once you achieve the goal. And that’s it. You might also get addicted to that feeling, and become a workaholic, feeling alive and happy for brief moments,  from achieved goal to achieved goal. Just like an occasional drug dose.   On the other hand, the happy go lucky ones, not only do they feel good towards the goal, they also feel good once they achieve it, and they achieve it even faster than the hard workers.

Let me further explain this with this river analogy.

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Photo by Rachel Baskin Photography on Pexels.com

Let’s say you have to swim a distance of 1 km ..or 1 mile. The river flows from A to B, with a considerable speed.

The hard workers will start from B, and swim towards A, basically against the stream. It will be rough. At on point they will loose it, and the water will bring them back to B. After some bruised muscles, a lot of swollen water, and a couple of hours, they reach the goal. They are ecstatic! YES! they did it! afterwords they rush to the hospital.

The happy go luckies, will start from A, along the stream, and not swim at all. In fact, they will just lay on their backs and float, and let the water carry them to B. At some point they will tilt a bit, if they feel like it. They will close their eyes trusting the water. They will be in so much joy! They will feel like kids again, enjoying the ride. They reach the goal in 10 minutes. They want to go again!

Ok, sounds perfect in theory. How do we apply this in real life? Three words: Relax, Intuition and Trust.

Step 1 : RELAX

The first step is to relax, by doing all the possible things that bring you joy : a walk in nature, a good book, dancing, singing,  a good nap in clean sheets, a long bath, a nice cake, a cup of tea, a cup of coffee, some relaxing music, a trip, petting an animal, a massage, sex with your loved one, a good restaurant, daydreaming, meditating, attending a SPA, a glass of wine, chocolate, smelling some flowers, a sun bath …..the list goes on.

Try to relax as much as possible each day.

The purpose of relaxation is to quiet the mind- the number one enemy in blocking you from receiving all the good things in life with ease.

Step 2: INTUITION

As you practice relaxation more and more, you become a better receiver of light and love energy from the universe. You simply allow things to flow to you. You become a radio station for receiving inspiration and great ideas. Once you are bombarded with these great ideas, write them down, or take action on them.

Haven’t you noticed how some of your best ideas and solutions pop in your head in the shower or after a good sleep, or even in the middle of the night? That’s because for a brief moment your body was relaxed and your mind was quiet!

Sometimes you will get a lot of ideas, but not feel inspired to act on them. That is perfectly fine. If you don’t feel an impulse to act on them, don’t. It might not be the right time to act on something.

For example, you might receive a good idea for a book, but don’t feel like publishing it yet. That’s ok. Maybe the universe is guiding you to publish it in December, because you will have more buyers than in March, due to the Holidays.

STEP 3 : TRUST

Well this is the hardest step where a lot of people fail. That’s because we always need to see proof of what we are desiring, to be happy. We live in a conditional world : “I will only be happy when..this and this happens”. That’s another trap!

Once you relaxed, harvested all the great ideas and took action on them, from a place of well being…it’s time to wait, and trust that things will work out for you behind the scenes, EVEN IF YOUR REALITY SHOWS YOU SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

If you took the appropriate action, but nothing happened yet, don’t panic, by taking further action, from a place of fear and impatience!

A lot of people get stuck at this step, because in life, just like in nature, everything needs some time to bloom. You plant the seed, you water it, you watch it grow, and after some time you harvest.

You can’t plant the seed, and go to collect the fruit the next day, when the plant hasn’t even germinated.

So after taking the action on your ideas, go back to step 1 and relax again, have patience and trust! even if in the present moment there is no evidence that your actions worked, just say again and again : ” Everything works out for me. Everything works out for me.” And it will. I promise.

Lots of love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The people in your life combined are YOU

In this article I’m going to explain how the people surrounding you, in your day to day life, from the supermarket cashier, to your coworker, to your best friend,  to your spouse, combined together, are actually….. you.

Chapter 1 : Core Values -Virtues and Vices

Our core values are made up of virtues and vices. To understand this better lets choose 10 virtues, and 10 vices, as an example, and attribute different colors  for each one, so you can identify them in the further images.

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The virtues that we posses at our core,  never change. Once we learn a virtue, in this lifetime, or in other lifetimes, it sticks in our core forever, because expansion can’t be reversed. It is true we might forget about it, and it might become stagnant, but it will never disappear from our core.

We also have some core vices. These can change in a lifetime, but usually it’s not that easy. Major life changes and experiences can cause us to remove a vice from our core, but it may take multiple lifetimes, depending on each soul.

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When you live your day to day life, these core values, are not activated all at the same time. Depending on your past experiences, present decisions, and outer influences, that you cannot control, you will be tempted to focus only on certain virtues, or vices each day.

Sometimes, we can have a core value, that has not been activated in a long time, and it may become stagnant,  but it won’t disappear completely.

No matter the circumstances, we always have a choice on what to focus, thus what is activating within us and what not.

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Chapter 2 : The people around us

Ok, so now let’s explain how the people around us, are actually…us.

Well, you will always attract in your life, someone that has one or a couple of core values as you do. It may be activated in them more than in you and vice-versa, but you cannot attract something that is not already in you.

Since each day is not quite the same, sometimes you feel more happy and sometimes more sad, the people with whom you interact each day will differ.

The more close to you a person is, or in other words, the more time you spend with someone, the more core values you have in common with that person, or you have a few that are highly activated in both of you, thus making you two a match.

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When we incarnate to this planet, our purpose is to dissolve certain vices, or to learn new virtues. The contrast in this reality is powerful enough to create an important shift within us.

To dissolve a certain vice, we must activate more of its opposite, until the vice is completely erased from our core values. For example, love is the opposite of fear, so the more we focus on love, the more fear will be deactivated, becoming stagnant, and then it will be pushed away (repelled).

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An other way to get rid of vices, is to occupy as much of the core space as possible with virtues, either by activating all the ones you already posses or learn new ones. This will leave too little space for the vices to occupy, since the virtues have priority in the core circle.

This explains how certain people from your life simply go away naturally. Either you move away from each other, or simply stop talking, and neither of you has the impulse to keep it going, since the thing that hold you together is now long gone.

That’s why it is never a good idea to force things and try to maintain a relationship with someone that has nothing in common with you anymore, cause it can cause even more problems. Imagine trying to stick together 2 magnets with the repelling poles. It takes a lot of force and it won’t last.

The same applies to the opposite situation, when you feel a strong pull towards someone, but you force yourself to stay away, because of various societal reasons. This act takes a lot of effort and can cause misery in the long run.

As a side note, this theory applies to everything you attract, not only people.  It applies to animals, plants and objects, since they can absorb and reflect back to us certain values.

Chapter 3 : Soulmates

Lately I’m noticing a lot of articles around the topic of toxic relationships versus soulmate relationships. Let’s dig a bit into that, from the above perspective.

So basically, a toxic relationship, is one in which the things that bind you two together are mostly vices and not virtues. You get angry at the same things, you complain about the same things, and you hate the same kind of people. These type of relationships are really dangerous, because besides the fact that the vices in you are highly activated most of the time, in the presence of this person, you will also have multiple virtues to activate or to learn to dissolve the vices, and thus repelling your “dearly beloved”. Some people need multiple lifetimes to do this.

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Technically this person is your soul “mate”, since you have things in common with them, but they are the kind of soulmate that will push you further the HARD WAY. You will learn virtues but after experiencing a lot of pain and turmoil.

Now let’s talk about the other type of soulmate. The good kind. Ever heard of the saying : “you bring out the best in me” ? Well that’s the one..

This is the soulmate that will activate in you the virtues. They may awaken some virtues that you had stagnant for a long time within you, and you are pushed to activate them. This is the person you will feel unconditional love towards to, you will laugh a lot with, have good times, and feel blissful, grateful, loving, and at peace. They will make you a better person, but through love, not through pain.

Chapter 4 : Conclusions

  • The people around us are actually us ( not only people)
  • If someone suddenly fades away from your life, let them go
  • If you feel a strong pull towards someone, don’t fight to stay away, at least not until you find out what pulls you two together.
  • To get rid of someone you don’t like, recognise the vices that stick you 2 together, and activate the opposite virtues or learn new virtues
  • If a long lost friend returns in your life after a long time, you have gained new but similar values in this time frame
  • If someone calls you only in the worst moments possible, now you know why.

 

So, I hope this information can help you in your journey, and be more aware of the people around you and how to change that. It is not always easy to do so, but the first step in everything in gaining knowledge.

Lots of love to you all!

.

 

 

 

Should you trust people?

 

black road bike leaning on red blue and white wing graffiti wall
Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

This is not a tutorial on how to trust someone. This is not a checklist of what makes someone trustworthy or not. This is not a list of ‘red flags’ you should watch out for.

You cannot control the actions of others. The only reason you crave so much for trust, is due to your own insecurities. You just want everyone to promise you that they won’t hurt you. You want assurance that they won’t lie and deceive you.  So in this case, is it really about them?

When you are saying you don’t trust someone, you are actually saying you don’t trust in your own ability to get over whatever wrong is being done to you.

So basically you don’t trust in your own power. In the power to say, “oh well, the fact that this person chose to be deceitful towards me, is not my problem. I’m just gonna get on with my life. I can be happy anyway. I can get passed this.”

How freeing is that? You allow other people the freedom to be and do whatever they choose, and you allow yourself to be happy even if the action of others threatens you.

Does this mean you have to be a rug on which everyone can step on? Does this mean you have to spend time with deceitful people, just because their behaviour doesn’t affect you much? NO. Of course not.

Just because something doesn’t bother you, doesn’t mean you agree with it, or that it’s a part of your value system.

It’s just saves you of all that worry about someone doing something to you. Because let’s face it. When you are in a place of worry, your mind won’t be clear enough anyway, to make the best judgements and decisions.

Another fact to consider is, they may not even doing anything on purpose. Some people are just used to act in a certain way, with everybody. It is just part of who they are, and the fact that you worry or suffer over their actions, will not make them a better person. It’s up to them to make a change, and change is not easy most of the time.

So the next time you encounter someone that triggers worry or fear inside you, a so called “red flag”, that this person is not trustworthy, take a step back and ask yourself these questions:

-what experience from the past has triggered this feeling inside me? is it helping me?

-do I have actual proof of the things I fear, or do I just imagine them?

-do I have all the information?

-if the things I fear become a reality, how hard it is for me to overcome them?

Once you acknowledge all the factors that contribue to your fears, take a deep breath and proceed with action.

If you consider it is a lot harder to overcome the idea of your fears becoming a reality, than the idea of letting someone go, or staying away, without giving a second change or the benefit of the doubt, do that. Always chose the path of least resistance. Just make sure you don’t hold any regrets about it.

Love to you all!

 

 

 

Wisdom Bombs

woman wearing crown holding frog figurine
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Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with some inspirational quotes in my head, that will haunt me for days. Other times, they just come to me spontaneously, after weeks or days of questions in my head.

Since I can’t write a whole article around one single idea all the time, I decided to include them all here, and call them Wisdom Bombs. Enjoy!

Freedom is allowing yourself to enjoy and stay in the present moment.

The people around you have nothing against you. The environment around you has nothing against you. Their role is to help you know yourself better.

You don’t hate something or someone. The hate is already inside you and you choose where to direct it. You don’t love something or someone. The love is already inside you and you choose where to direct it. 

Autumn is a kind reminder of transformation.

When you do something out of love, there is no wrong decision.

If you want to heal your past, just heal your present moment.

Appreciation is the fastest way to a better life.

When encountering a problem, don’t try to fix the problem, try to fix your perception about the “problem”.

When having to decide between multiple people, chose yourself.

To be continued…