Should you trust people?

 

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This is not a tutorial on how to trust someone. This is not a checklist of what makes someone trustworthy or not. This is not a list of ‘red flags’ you should watch out for.

You cannot control the actions of others. The only reason you crave so much for trust, is due to your own insecurities. You just want everyone to promise you that they won’t hurt you. You want assurance that they won’t lie and deceive you.  So in this case, is it really about them?

When you are saying you don’t trust someone, you are actually saying you don’t trust in your own ability to get over whatever wrong is being done to you.

So basically you don’t trust in your own power. In the power to say, “oh well, the fact that this person chose to be deceitful towards me, is not my problem. I’m just gonna get on with my life. I can be happy anyway. I can get passed this.”

How freeing is that? You allow other people the freedom to be and do whatever they choose, and you allow yourself to be happy even if the action of others threatens you.

Does this mean you have to be a rug on which everyone can step on? Does this mean you have to spend time with deceitful people, just because their behaviour doesn’t affect you much? NO. Of course not.

Just because something doesn’t bother you, doesn’t mean you agree with it, or that it’s a part of your value system.

It’s just saves you of all that worry about someone doing something to you. Because let’s face it. When you are in a place of worry, your mind won’t be clear enough anyway, to make the best judgements and decisions.

Another fact to consider is, they may not even doing anything on purpose. Some people are just used to act in a certain way, with everybody. It is just part of who they are, and the fact that you worry or suffer over their actions, will not make them a better person. It’s up to them to make a change, and change is not easy most of the time.

So the next time you encounter someone that triggers worry or fear inside you, a so called “red flag”, that this person is not trustworthy, take a step back and ask yourself these questions:

-what experience from the past has triggered this feeling inside me? is it helping me?

-do I have actual proof of the things I fear, or do I just imagine them?

-do I have all the information?

-if the things I fear become a reality, how hard it is for me to overcome them?

Once you acknowledge all the factors that contribue to your fears, take a deep breath and proceed with action.

If you consider it is a lot harder to overcome the idea of your fears becoming a reality, than the idea of letting someone go, or staying away, without giving a second change or the benefit of the doubt, do that. Always chose the path of least resistance. Just make sure you don’t hold any regrets about it.

Love to you all!

 

 

 

Wisdom Bombs

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Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with some inspirational quotes in my head, that will haunt me for days. Other times, they just come to me spontaneously, after weeks or days of questions in my head.

Since I can’t write a whole article around one single idea all the time, I decided to include them all here, and call them Wisdom Bombs. Enjoy!

Freedom is allowing yourself to enjoy and stay in the present moment.

The people around you have nothing against you. The environment around you has nothing against you. Their role is to help you know yourself better.

You don’t hate something or someone. The hate is already inside you and you choose where to direct it. You don’t love something or someone. The love is already inside you and you choose where to direct it. 

Autumn is a kind reminder of transformation.

When you do something out of love, there is no wrong decision.

If you want to heal your past, just heal your present moment.

Appreciation is the fastest way to a better life.

When encountering a problem, don’t try to fix the problem, try to fix your perception about the “problem”.

When having to decide between multiple people, chose yourself.

To be continued…

Why do you attract certain people and how to control that

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You create your own reality. The basis of your creation is in how you feel. The way you feel will lead you to certain thoughts, that eventually will manifest in the physical form, if held for more than 16 seconds.  The people in your life are co-creators to your own reality, by constantly showing you how you feel.

Please remember this: the people around you are not an indication of who you are, they are an indication of how you feel.

If you feel sad, you will attract people who will tell you certain things, or act in a certain way, that will point out to you how sad you actually are. If you feel angry, you will attract certain people that will point out to you how angry you actually are.  So for example, if you are a little angry, you will get a little angry at them, even if they yell like crazy, and if you are very very angry, you will yell at them like crazy, even if they just winked at you. Your first reaction is to blame them for how they made you feel, but with further analysis you will realize that the feeling was already there. By “there”, I mean in your vibrational field. It doesn’t matter if you managed to distract yourself in the moment with some activities, as long as something is in your vibrational field, you will attract a match to it, so you can acknowledge it, so you can question it, so you can decide upon how helpful it is to you, and so you can clear it out, in case it is not helpful.

How does a feeling get in your vibrational field in the first place? Simple : By focusing on it.

If for example, at some point you experienced a feeling, and you kept your focus on it, it got attached to your vibrational field. If you want to get rid of it, just stop focusing on it.

So for example if someone comes at you with abusive words, try not to focus on it more than 16 seconds, and it will not attach to your vibrational field, thus you will not attract that kind of behavior in the future.

Focus on the positive aspects in people. Focus on the positive aspects in yourself and in your environment, and slowly but steady you will clear your vibrational field of unwanted things. The key is to keep your focus on a positive aspect for more than 16 seconds, and you will attract more of those positive aspects.

This is what actually forgiveness is. Forgiveness is the ability to not focus on the actions of others. The more we focus on the actions towards us, and the feeling that comes with that, the more it will remain in our vibrational field, thus attracting more of that.

We cannot control how others react. But we can certainly  control how we feel towards how others act, by controlling our focus.

Always ask yourself: Do I want to be right? or do I want to be happy? Do I want to control what this person thinks of me, or do I want to be happy? Do I want this person’s approval, or do I want to be happy?

I for one, would definitely choose to be happy every single time! Happy, haaappy, happy!

Stay happy!

How to make decisions in life

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The process of making decisions , from deciding on small things like what you will have for dinner, to bigger things, like choosing from two different paths or partners, is something that we should constantly work on to improve, and we should treat with high importance and from a place of consciousness.

First of all the time spent on making decisions can result on ruining solid foundations , when we act quick, without judgement, or can result in anxiety and sleepless nights, when we indulge in overthinking.

More than that, life itself as you experience it, is a direct result of your past, present and future decisions, which makes them even more of high importance. Just look around and you can see the physical manifestation of your choices. The people you spend time with, the home you are living in, the job you go to everyday, the food you are eating and so on. The concept of “I had no choice” , is just an illusion. Sure, it was best to choose something at some point considering the circumstances, to avoid some type of suffering, but you always have a choice.

Most people rely on logic when making decisions. They make a list of ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ and go with the option with less ‘cons’. Logic can be a very helpful friend in some situations and can ease some of the burdens when things get overwhelming. But it can also become an enemy against your truest heart desires.

What am I talking about? Let me introduce you to the toughest decisions you have to make in life: the ones where your mind is in contradiction with your heart.
The ones where everything makes perfect sense on paper, but something just doesn’t feel right. The ones where everyone and everything is against it, but something just calls you to go for it. The ones where you have to choose between 2 options that both have ‘pros’ and ‘cons’, but in different areas. That something, that apparently has no logical sense, can keep you blocked in a situation for a long period of time, and it is very important to recognize if it comes from intuition or fear.

Intuition will fight to keep your soul alive and prosper. Fear will fight to keep your ego alive and prosper.
Intuition is there to help you follow your life purpose, ego is there to help you follow other peoples life purpose.

A way to distinguish the two, is by analyzing how some situations make you feel.

Take a piece of paper and analyze an important past decision you made at one time.
How did you feel after the made decision settled in your life?

1.Intuition
The choices made with your intuition will make you feel liberated, free, alive, motivated, full of joy, grateful, at peace, calm , serene, content, hopeful, but it may come with the downside of feeling rejected or judged by others, or feeling unsure of your material and financial stability.

2. Fear
The choices made from fear, will make you feel safe, comfortable, stable in the material world, accepted by the fellow people around you and easy to integrate with them, but it may come with anxiety, extreme boredom, tendency to overindulge in sex, drugs, alcohol, food or partying, minor or major health problems, problems with waking early in the morning, lack of motivation, confusion, and feeling lost.

So , for making future decisions, let’s try an imagination exercise. Picture your life as if the decision is already made. How a day in your life looks like? How do you feel? How does your day pass by?
Even tho there are a lot of unknown factors, you can still use imagination to predict how it will be based on your present. Take action towards what your intuition dictates you.

An other simple trick you can use, is to flip a coin and let faith decide for you no matter what. Let’s say you have to chose between option A and option B. While you flip the coin, pay attention to what you wish deep down to obtain. If you got option B, and feel very disappointed, or the need to flip one more time, maybe option A is what you truly desire.

I personally skip the coin part, and just ask myself “Should I chose option A?”. The first answer that comes loud and clear is the right one for me. Usually I hear a clear YEEES or NOOOO in an instant. I use this method also for small things, like which way should I walk next, or what should I eat today. It works wonders for me and it makes life much easier.

Once you made your decision, trust in it! Remove any doubt. Remember, there are no bad or good decisions. Usually you will encounter the same type of people and lessons along the way, that best fit your personal journey. The only difference is that some choices may get you to the knowledge much faster than others and with less obstacles.

Much love to you all!

What is true love

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Since the moment we are born, no matter how hard we deny it, we all want to feel loved, to share love and understand it. All the relationships we have along the way, with our parents, siblings, friends and lovers, will determine how we see love and unfortunately will make us sometimes associate love with pain and suffering.

The highest pain and suffering doesn’t come from lack of love, but actually from the blockage of love.

You see love is actually an energy that flows from the Divine into the entire Universe and in ourselves.

The more we try to fight it and deny it, the more we suffer.

Certain events and relationships makes us block our body from receiving this pure energy. Rejection, abandonment, criticism or abusive behavior can cause deep wounds and blocks inside our energetic and physical body. By meeting certain people in our lives, the wounds are triggered and can manifest detoxification and purification or further blockage , depending on how we respond. If we let the old wounds block the normal flow of the Divine Love energy, we will experience sorrow and heartache. We must understand that we are only vessels that transport this energy into us and into others.
Out of this reason, true love CAN exist only one sided. Even if we are rejected we can still love someone unconditionally because we simply allow the flow of energy. The other person may not be open to receive this energy because of personal blockages or because the other person is not triggered by you to open up his/her heart to the Love energy.

Most often we tend to confuse love for something else. We confuse love with attachment or lust.
To be truly certain if we experience true love towards someone, we must first question our self love and how happy we are on our own. We must understand that the role of an other person is not to fill our gaps and make us happy or less lonely. That is our own quest to achieve. We must first attain happiness in ourselves, so we can share that happiness with others. We must first fill our own cup with love, so much that it overflows into others. We cannot truly love another person until we learn to truly love ourselves.
If you ever have to choose between multiple partners, pay attention to when you need them most. If you turn to them only when you are in lack, when you feel sad, lonely or discouraged or even horny then it is attachment or lust. If you turn to them when you are extremely happy and want to share that with them it is true love. Of course you can turn to them when you are confused and need guidance or advice, or to have a fruitful conversation that will enlighten you or both of you somehow, but it is not healthy to turn to them only when you need your cup to be filled, because that shows you are only using them for your own personal satisfaction.

The role of a romantic relationship that shares true love has actually a higher meaning that procreating and setting a family. It is actually a collaboration to make the world a better place. Each partner brings out an amount of masculine and feminine energy to create a perfect balance, that is very powerful in achieving great things in the world. Each partner shares something the other ones lacks, and together they are unstoppable. It is important that both partners are happy on their own, so they can be ready to share their happiness with each other and with the entire world. Their common happiness is not meant to be held only for themselves. It must inspire and heal, it serves as support and hope for other people. Such an environment is also beneficial for bringing in children, either conceived or adopted, so they can focus on important things from an early age, surrounded by the power of true love, and not suffer from the drama of two unfulfilled parents.

If you are single right now do not freak out! You can also trigger true love on your own without a partner. You just need to be willing to heal your past wounds caused by neglective parents or romantic partners, to spend time with yourself, know yourself better, love and appreciate yourself. It’s important you find a purpose in your life, to feel a part of something, to inspire and to create, to play like a child on the Earth’s playground. Once you achieve that, you will attract the right partner to be by your side in your mission, and to cocreate a better world.

Love to you all!

How to find a true answer to "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

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After finishing collage, having a degree in computer science, like any other fresh graduate, I started job scouting, and preparing for interviews.

I was interviewing for a software engineer position in several multinational companies, and I noticed one of the common questions were : “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

Being a little naive and out of track in life back then I had a typical answer: “Well, in 5 years I see myself as a Team Leader, managing my own team”. I don’t know why I’m reading this in a low voice in my head, haha.

This answer was not entirely my fault. It was a belief impregnated in me by society, that success equals career, more specifically, what your job title says you are.

Something “cool” and “important” to add to your Facebook and Linkedin profile, something to brag about at your 10 year school reunion, something that makes your bank account look impressive.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against having a nice corporation title, as long as, you get up in the morning excited to go to work, you have passion for what you do, you become a better you through it, you learn and evolve each day professionally and as a person.

That being said, I can put right there, next to this description, the definition of a successful person.

So, let me answer to you, the classic “where do you see yourself in 5 years” question.

Here it is.

In 5 years, I see myself going to bed at night thinking with excitement about the day to come, especially if it’s a Monday!

I see myself inspiring millions of people. I see myself very wise, from all the knowledge I acquire each day, but also still learning. I see myself handling each problem with a calm state of mind. I see myself financial free, where money is not a problem. I see myself bringing to life all the ideas that come to my mind. I see myself serving other people through my talents and skills.

Does this sound like success? Yes or yes?

So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?

My encounter with a baby crow

Last week the city was stroke by a torrential rain , with drops so heavy and numerous, that a mist was emerged from the ground, not being able to see at a couple of meters ahead of you.

It took about 30 minutes or more, then the sun came up.

The atmosphere was so magical, especially when walking through the park, surrounded by wet nature, with a pleasant smell of linden tree and mist emerging through the alleys.

I waited for my boyfriend to get out of work and we went for a walk in the park. In this particular park there is this empty lake, over 1 meter deep, with interiors  covered in graffiti.

Most of the center was covered by big puddles caused by the rain, leaving the edges a bit dry.

In one of the corners we spot a little being, that moved its head slowly, having a black and white colour, and looking very very similar to a kitten.

After a few hesitations, we went to see it more closely, making already plans about how our cat will react when we bring home a kitten.

We got to the edge of the lake and noticed the kitten was actually a bird, a baby crow to be more exact, that had blue eyes, and started trembling after seeing us.

Image source: https://akio-stock.deviantart.com/journal/Adorable-Baby-Animal-Stocks-444969326

The bigger crow relatives were watching from the trees above, making noises and hitting the branches of the trees to scare us off.

Even so, they did nothing to help the little guy who was stuck in the lake with no way out.

We went to a bench on the opposite side of the lake, to check what  was the situation exactly.

The little guy tried to fly out, but he couldn’t jump more than one palm high, and the relatives just stood above watching him.

Determined to help him I went again to the edge of the lake, thinking that maybe I can jump in and get him out.

But once I got there,  I realised the lake was deeper than I anticipated, and the little guy could just run away from me along the edge, or worse getting into the water and drawn.

I searched the area and saw a big branch that had fallen in the storm.

I grabbed it and placed it on the edge of the lake, in a inclined angle, to be used by the baby crow to escape.

The bigger relatives started to agitate so I ran back to the bench to observe the output.

The little guy at first started to eat out of the branch some little bugs. After a few attempts he started to climb the branch.

Unfortunately it was  not long enough to touch the outside of the lake, and he just remained there on the branch.

At this point I couldn’t take it anymore, feeling so sorry for him.

So I went back there to look for another branch, to give him more help.

The one I found was even shorter than the first one, and as I was trying to arrange it somehow, the bigger crows started flying close to my head, being ready to attack.

The little guy this time didn’t look so scared of me anymore.

He just looked at me like I was his friend.

In an act of courage, without thinking too much, I grabbed the whole branch on which he sat, and lifted the whole thing out of the lake, and put it on the ground, thus freeing the little crow from the lake.

The crows were really agitating so after releasing the little guy, I got away from there as fast as I could, with my legs trembling.

I watched the little guy from the opposite side, on the bench, how he cuddled next to a tree, and absorbing some sun light.

Did I did the right thing?

Maybe.

Are crows dangerous?

Absolutely, especially when you are near their nest.

All I know is, my soul is more calm knowing that baby crow is not stuck there any more.

UPDATE: After a week from this incident, the local park authorities cleaned the lake and filled it with water. Good think the baby crow was not there when this happened.

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything

The number one complain in school that I heard from my pears was the following : what use has “x” subject in real life? Why do we have to study all these theoretical notions?”

For some time I was in the same puddle, complaining about the same things, and finding it very very hard to study for certain subjects, especially in collage.

But as I grew older, I learned that studying in school is in fact very important, and not because you learn new things, but because you learn new habits.

I personally don’t remember too many facts from history or geography, I don’t think I am able to apply a simple math formula any more and I may forgot how to use proper grammar. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one, watching now adults over 30, being stuck at some 3rd grade exercises, and not being able to help their children with homework.

But one thing that I’m certain I got from school is that I learned how to study hard (in high school) and how to study smart (in collage).

I learned to be responsible.

I learned how to complete things even if I don’t enjoy them very much.

I learned how to not beat myself up, even when I’m not in the top 10 of a list.

So basically I developed a habit of doing things, that helped along the way. especially after I got a job.

This doesn’t apply only in school. it applies in everything you do.

The way you do something, is the way you do everything.

For a long time I used to think that it’s ok to be a bit lazy when it comes to house chores, as long as I study a lot and get good grades.

I used to think that physical chores are less important that intellectual chores.

Oh…how wrong I was.

I remember the first time I read a book on Buddhist teachings. I felt like screaming : “where was this information all my life? why no one told me about it?” But the one idea that stroke me the most was this:

“A true Buddhist is never lazy!”

A true Buddhist, meaning for me a being with a beautiful soul and a calm and smart mind, also is a wonderful organizer and house cleaner.

Doing physical chores, when you’re not really feeling like doing it, or you feel lazy, is a wonderful training for the mind, because let’s face it. Doing the work is quite easy. The hard part is thinking about doing the work and actually going through with it.

So if you’re used to give only 60% when you clean your house, chances are you are going to give only 60% when you have to complete an intellectual project.

That doesn’t mean you will fail at it, it just means you don’t make the effort to give more than that.

Giving less effort and energy to complete something, means it may take you more time to get to a point in life, that it takes someone who brings 100% to the table.

I will not label this as being something good or bad, I’m just going to ask you : do you think you have the time to only give 60% and not 100%?

How to optimize your closet and spend less on clothes

Lately I started observing my habits with more interest, and I’m pretty disappointed about my closet management.

Here are the top 3 issues I found:

1. Although I have over 30 pieces of summer clothing (even after the moving clean up), I still wear only 20% of them.

2. Even though I like some of the clothes very much, I wear them rarely or never.

3.I spend at least 10 minutes deciding what to wear, and sometimes I change my mind after getting dressed and start over.

If you relate with this, don’t worry! I have 3 simple actions that you can take, to optimize your closet, spend less time deciding on your outfit for the day, and wear more than 70% of your clothes frequently.

Step 1

Get rid of what you haven’t worn in the last 3 weeks!

If it’s hard to remember, at the start of each month, put aside in one corner of closet the ones you wear, and make a statistic at the end of the month.

Step 2

Decide what your style is.

This step is actually the hardest one for me, since I own elegant blouses and also T-shirts with funny quotes on them.

But nevertheless , each one of us has a style, and you can discover that also by separating in one corner of the closet what you wore for the past month.

Step 3

From this day forward, buy only clothes and shoes that match with each other no matter what combination you choose.

For this step I actually have a cool tool to recommend you.

It’s a website called Shoplook.io , and it let’s you build outfits by choosing all kinds of tops, bottoms or shoes. My first choice for recommendation was Polyvore.com, but unfortunatelly this site was bought by another company and it lost it’s features, so I had to search for a close alternative.

As an example, I created using this website, a collection of 2 set of pants, 8 tops, 1 skirt, 1 jacket and 2 pair of shoes, and no matter what combination you choose from that list, they work and match very well together.

Creating such a collection can help you:

1. Discovering what your style is.

2. Avoiding unnecessary shopping, thus spending less money on clothes.

3. Wearing over 70% of your wardrobe frequently, because no matter what you choose it matches.

4. Spending less time deciding on what to wear.

Also, how about wearing a smile today? Cheers!

Do other people's opinions about us matter ? and how to deal with them

Imagine yourself in the first 7 years of your life like a blank computer program, ready to be written. You’re just starting to learn about how things in life work, how society works , how money works, how relationships work and so on.

Who is the first with privilege to write something in your program? well..mostly your family, but also friends, teachers and what you see on TV, what you read in books.

For example in the country I live, there is a popular belief that rich people are bad, that they are corrupt, that they obtained money through illegal or immoral methods and that they are untrustworthy.

So basically I never ever ever dared to imagine myself very wealthy because I’m not like those people! I consider myself a good person, so how can I be wealthy?

Luckily I recently started to be aware of all my hard coded beliefs since childhood, and working hard to “reprogram” them because they simply do no serve me.

Taking this into consideration , obviously the things we hear affects us, the opinions of others about us included.

For example if you had a father that kept nagging you when you were little : “you are naive! you must learn more!” , chances are, you are struggling with anything related to learning, and dealing with blockages and preconceptions about your learning ability.

This shouldn’t be that surprising, especially after you start joining the dots, but what I’m about to share with you next will blow your mind! At least it blew mine when I found out.

If the environment we grow up in, has such a big influence on us, how do we explain the children that grow up suffering in hard conditions , with a broken family, but then becomes successful and rich?

You might say, well… that’s easy, because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger , right?

OK. Let me ask you this : What about the children that have very supportive families : ” You are the best! You can do anything! ” and that end up with no job, with no friends, or worse, drug addicts or criminals?

Here is the SECRET my friends:

It doesn’t matter what others say to you. It matters what you say to yourself.

So for example if everyone else around you tells you what a failure you are, but you tell yourself that you are doing great, you will succeed.

If everyone else tells you how great you are , but you are not satisfied with your achievements then the results will show.

You say something, and the Universe says back : “Yes! That’s right!”

Considering a lot of examples around us, we notice that in most cases we believe a lot in what others are saying about us, and continuing to say that to ourselves, especially when it’s something negative. So how do we deal with that?

Here is the second SECRET:

What others say about you , is just a reflection of their internal state of spirit, positive or negative.

So if someone says, “wow you look amazing today”, you don’t take it as truth, it just means they are feeling very positive that day, and they are spreading their lovely energy to you as well. So you say : “thanks for sharing!”

If someone says : ” wow you really screw up this time”, you don’t take it as truth, it just means they are in a low state of being, a negative state, with their own issues, and they are reversing their garbage on you. So you say ” thanks for sharing!”

Obviously, to avoid any upset feelings, you don’t say that to their faces, but you must say it to yourself, after hearing it.

“Thanks for sharing!”

Then go ahead and create a nice story about yourself, and what you think about yourself, because putting yourself down like that doesn’t serve you!

Lots of love everyone! Kisses!